We're reading about so much memory loss, memory loss from Alzheimer's, and then we read stress is actually the NUMBER ONE cause of memory loss among seniors.
Forget about seniors for a moment - what about all the rest of us??? The effects of stress on memory is strong enough to be identified amount people under 50! That means people in their 40's.
I have my theory about my mother's inability to recall. I won't get into the details but I'm sure it's because there's so much she wants to forget. She has NO symptoms of Alzheimer's. She just has things she wants to forget. Many things.
I also think that when life gets so complicated - so many lies, so many things you want to deny - that the mind deals with it by just shutting down. What is true and what's a lie? One lie begets another lie. For her to deal with how she's disappointed me, she has to deal with the reality of those who have been lying and stealing from her, those whose love she's been trying to gain (whereas mine she was secure in????).
Doctors do a few tests, ask some questions, they see her hysteria when certain people's names are mentioned..... but the lies in our family, the splits, the bad-mouthing,the anger, the hatred, are so rampant that even lately I have been unable to deal with anything, unable to remember. So that's why I'm taking a simpler approach. I'm simply saying THIS relationship is too complex for me to even have. So let it go. Then the next. Then the next.
The other day I went nordic skiing. it was beautiful, simple, quiet, exuberant, exhilarating. It was nothing like the way I'd been living the past 2 years. It brought me back to the years of my life when I had that quiet and simplicity in my life. It was transformative. And I can't go back.
But back to my elderly mom.... Who can tell me that this memory loss of hers is NOT due to self-imposed stress?
And who among us can think that the effects of the stress in our lives NOW will not be seen LATER?
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