Do you want to complain - or solve a problem?

I grew up hearing complaint after complaint. About the world, about each other, about me!! Rarely, if ever, did people get together to try to come up with a viable solution.

It's difficult with a senior parent, when the complaints begin again. You know they have arthritis, you know there's pain. But you have to get past that somehow. "I'm nauseous" is a fair complaint but you know the elderly parent needs to eat something like rice ("You mean dry rice?") or toast. "I'm dizzy" is a legitimate complaint but you know that may be either low blood sugar or dehydration. You know your parent needs to DRINK or eat some carbohydrate or something that will produce sugar for the body.

So "Do you want to complain? Or do you want to find a solution?"

The answer? "I'm all stuffed up."

You're feeling helpless, and you're feeling that your parent is acting like a child and forcing a role reversal. You're feeling that your parents wants it to be that way. Yet you don't want to play that game.

So "Do you want to complain? Or do you want to find a solution?" I said, "You're acting like a child."  I said, Do you want to complain? Or do you want to find a solution?" and I wait. I tell her to go into the bathroom and get an allergy relief pill. She goes, and within a few seconds, says, "It's not here." But I know it is and wait.

Soon enough she finds a pill and says "I already took this." I know she didn't. Soon she asks "What do you want me to take this with?" I tell her the Gatorade, which means she also now has to make her way back to the kitchen.

She does, she gets the Gatorade, and takes a few sips, and the allergy relief pill. Soon enough she's feeling much better.

Do you want to complain or solve a problem? With a senior, it's so much more complex. So much more difficult. We want our parents to be and act like our parents. But what does that mean??? I explore this in future blogs.