I have arranged for a nurse to go in every morning at a fixed time to make sure that my mom has taken all her meds. She is billed $5. per day for this. At $15 per month, it's definitely worth it.
With this, I know that my mom is okay and that she's taken all her meds, and it leaves me the opportunity to live my life.
But then what? Life is more than just waking up and taking your meds.
My mom will probably sleep most of the day if I don't call her and make sure she's up and about. And it's not because of her age. It's because of depression.
It's past that hour.... By now the nurse has long gone in to make sure she has taken her meds.
So... Do I call my mom this morning or not?
I will call her for sure in an hour or two to make sure that she's up and ready and moving for her aid.
But should I call her now?
Of course, call, you'll think. It's your mother.
Maybe not. It's usually very depressing calling her. We start her day with an argument and we start mine with an argument. Arguing and opposing seems to be how she survives, but it's not how I survive. If she says she's sleepy, and I say 'have some coffee,' she says she doesn't like coffee. If I remind her that she does, in fact that she herself bought coffee and it's in her fridge, she says that she changed her mind about coffee. Yesterday she said she couldn't go to her Dr appointment because she was nauseous and couldn't eat. As soon as I cancelled the appointment, she got up and went to the kitchen to eat. "Mom, I thought you were nauseous."
"I'm always nauseous when I wake up."
"So then why don't you just wait a bit until you're not nausous and then eat, and then we don't have to cancel your Dr appointment."
No answer. I'm aware of what she does and how she can egg a person on into an argument whose point is - what is the point?? from her point of view? Just the love of arguing?
She will always come up with a fact in opposition and if she doesn't have a fact in opposition, she will make one up. In fact it's what destroys me. It's been that way since I was a kid. (And maybe it's what destroyed her.) So what's the point of calling? I don't need the argument or the negativity.
The point would be to make sure she's up and dressed and has taken her cold medication, so that it can be working by the time the aid arrives.
Whether to call or not is not always so clear cut.