A blog about dealing with an elderly parent... and family dysfunction at the same time.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
This Afternoon I Sold Mom's Car
Mom's upset but she's not talking about it.
She sees the petty cash that I've brought her back to help her with daily expenses,, eg tipping people who come deliver her prescriptions, etc., asks where I got that, and I tell her. "I don't want to talk about it."
This is the WRONG thing to say to me. I hate denial. It starts a fight. We fight. She gets upset. I get upset. I pack up and go... I HAVE to get away from the denial.
Dinner is being delivered to each and every apartment tonight because of the flu outbreak. So a few of the residents decide to eat together when their dinners are delivered. There are four of us. We are laughing and having fun. By the end of the evening, hard feelings seem forgotten.
The car dealer who sold her her car and who bought it back said to me: She will forget it. She will be angry for a day or two but then she'll forget it. Tell her you want to do it so that she'll have money to go to shows or plays or to travel. I tried to follow his advice. His advice was wise.
It's now 10pm and my mom is telling me how much she loves me. I feel I've added years to my life. I've shed tons of worry. I can sleep tonight. And I do.
Tomorrow I'll try to take her to the fitness room and we'll get some exercise. I'll show her that life goes on - without the car. I'll show her that a good life will go on - without the car. Maybe even a better life.
Maybe she even will be relived at some point. But right now she's not open to that.
Labels:
decisions,
elderly,
parents,
selling car
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